In the beginning. . .

God created man.  He then proclaimed that it was "not good for man to be alone."  So we must logically conclude that it is also not good for woman to be alone.  Right?  Makes sense to me.  Ya'll I'm not doing too good over here.  Alone is a real thing.  You know that commercial "depression hurts?"  Yeah well I remixed it for all the Army Wives out there: "deployment hurts."  And it does.  Oh man it hurts.  It hurts when you are laying in bed and your feet are cold so they instinctively move over to cuddle with your husband's strong legs only to find miles and miles of more cold sheets.  It hurts when your five year old says something hilarious and you can't share it with the one person on Earth who will get it, like really get it.  


I miss my Davy.  


I think of him non stop now that he's gone.  I feel like the US Army just pushed pause on the story of our life, right on a good part too!  When we were in the middle of our drama, I couldn't keep him away with a pit bull and a restraining order taped to an electric fence.  But now that we are back to boo-dom they fly him half way around the world.  Literally.  That's sucks!  You know what else sucks?  The regret.  I regret so much wasted time. So many bad moods, arguments, silly fights, bad fights, you're wrong, ghetto fights, on my nerves. . .  Whatever the reasons were, I regret them now.  I want my 16 seconds of silent treatment in the car back.  I want to use those seconds to tell my husband that he still has the "BEST voice" on the face of the planet.  I wanna tell him how much I love the birthmark on his cheek and how wiggly he is when he dances.  I can't wait until he comes home. . . 


God was right; as usual.  This is no good.  I'm not supposed to be without theDav.  I don't know what to do with myself.  Anyway, he's only been gone for a few days.  This deployment is very much in it's beginning stages.  In a nutshell, this is going to be a long cold, winter. 

Saving all my blogs for you. . .

Well, well, well.  Lookie who decided to show up in her own cyber world again after just under a bit too long.  Sorry love, it's not personal.  Actually, yes it is.  My personal life has prevented me for having any time for an online one.  Kids are growing up, the hubs is getting ready to leave, I cut my hair.  See why I didn't have time to sit down and write clever things?  I chopped off 14 inches of my hard grown hair a little while back.  I'm saying bye bye to my creamy crack addiction. I have baldy gone where I never have before.  At present I have about three inches of hair on top and one everywhere else.  Yikes!  This is new and scary territory for a girl like me.  Remember that chant "bald head hood rat, ain't got no hair in the back?" Well, in a nutshell, those are still fighting words, true or not.

Falling Down Tired

Ok, so, it's been a long time since you've heard anything from me.  It's been rough 'round these parts.  We had Christmas, then New Years followed closely by theDav's birthday. (He's really old, he doesn't like to talk about it.)  So I've been putting headless chickens to shame for the last few weeks.  This may be the first time that I've actually sat down this year!  Ok maybe that was a bit much, but I have been very busy.  Need more evidence?  Well there's the fact that I'm exhausted, even when I'm asleep, I'm still tired.  The fact that yesterday while watching The Lion King with DaeDae, I couldn't remember the words to "Can you feel the love tonight."  Oh and one more thing, my hair is falling out! 

If you are or have ever met a woman before then you know what a huge deal that is.  Every time I wash my hair there is a small furby sitting in the sink bowl taunting me.  There's hair on the walls, and hair in the brush, in the comb and hair in the rugs.  Basically there is hair everywhere except on my head.  I like hair a lot better on my head.  I have a use for it there.  No, it's not your normal everyday uses either.  If you must know I've been growing my hair out for a very special moment in the (hopefully) near future when theDav and I will be on an island vacation.  I plan to swim on that island and I happen to need long, luscious locks for my "bond girl up out of the water scene."  But at the rate I'm going I'll be putting just as much baby oil on my head as anything else.  Not exactly the look I was going for. 

I've tried all of my usual damaged hair revitalization techniques.  So far the only growth I'm seeing is in the amount of under cabinet clutter in our master bathroom.  I have bottles upon jars of miracle cures that have obviously never read the gospel accounts of Jesus because I'm still on the road to bald.  This is very scary for me, I mean, I'm an honest girl so I can say, honestly, that I don't have the head to pull off short hair.  Due to circumstances beyond my control, my head is slightly large, er, than some other people's may be.  I wouldn't say abnormally so but I would have to give myself the 57-60th percentile, if I was being honest, and I am.  But hey, you can't work around a problem if you pretend that it isn't there.  So since I was five years old the shortest I've ever gone is a tapered bob.  That was in the eighth grade and growing it out was awful!  But I have to do something drastic and the deadline to act passed weeks ago.  

I'm too much of a fraidy cat to just do the big chop without obsessing for at least 2-36 months.  TheDav suggested micros which I'm just as afraid of because of the in/out process AND I'm not sure if I want to commit to braids right now.  So I've been toying with the idea of a weave.  My heart pounds at the thought.  Ok you want the whole truth and nothing but it?  My plan when this whole hair loss fiasco started was to get weaves until I grew my perm out!  Yup, I was going natural.  Then it rained and I was no longer going natural but still going bald.  A friend suggested maybe I was over working my hair.  I thought, strong possibility, I know tons about being overworked.  So, in a nutshell, I'm trying to decide how to give my hair a "rest."  When I do, my body will be jealous. 

Timing is everything.

    Since the weather began to change four months ago, the members of my household have been playing a mean game of "pass the illness."  TheDav has been the MVP.  But everybody has put some points on the board at one time or another; everybody but me that is.  I have been the only one on the team to manage to stay healthy.  Basically my immune system rocks.  I like to think of it as William Wallace and pathogens are trying to take its freedom.  It has fought off attack after attack from my germ loving family and won.  Until the week before Christmas.  The first day that I woke up with a sore throat I thought "really immune system, really?"  To my body's credit it did fight hard against this but, alas this bug proved too strong and here I sit, sick, on Christmas Eve.  This really sucks for tons of reasons, the main one being that I have no energy.  Three (or two for accuracy's sake) kids excited about Christmas but no energy.  Boatloads of cookies to be made but no energy.  Toys to be assembled but no energy.  You catch my drift?  So if you see a red nosed lady dragging her feet, reeking of cough drops pretending to be merry and bright for the three kids with her, come on up and say "hey" but if you ask me to ride your sleigh, you might take an elbow to the ribs.  #iaintnokillabutdontpushme 

Make love, not war.

*You may have noticed by now that I make writing errors.  I know it, I apologize but it can't be fixed.  It's because I over edit.  I usually cut, copy and paste from like four different documents.  Then I nit pick and change tenses, find better ways to say the nothings that need to be said until I'm driving myself crazy then I just hit post.  Almost always something is left behind and becomes an error.  Oh and I basically AM a comma splice.  Whew, this blogging stuff is a lot more pressure than a simple facebook status ya know ;)

Now for my dose of random, not important thoughts. . .

    Remember how I said that theDav and I were incompatible?  Well that's the truth.  He likes veggies and I like junk.  He like to be hot, I like to be comfortably warm.  He likes to be a blanket mummy when he sleeps while I have to have my face, arms and at least one leg uncovered.  See what I mean?  Need more evidence?  Okay, I LOVE singing extremely loudly (and I'd like to think full of passion and emotion) while driving, in whatever key that comes out.  I can think of no better way to spend a road trip.  Now you know I why I always show up hoarse, lol.  But theDav, on the other hand, will actually restart a song to make sure that he matches the harmony, pitch, etc. perfectly!  Whaaaat?  Now that sounds karayzee to me.  Another, more important way, that we are different is the way we handle conflict.  Like most women I like to talk but sadly my husband likes to shut down.

    It may be shocking to some (not the some that actually know us) but sometimes we argue!  We recently made up after a four day long disagreement.  Now this in and of itself is not shocking news.  The shocker is that admittedly, I lost.  I didn't loose because my points were invalid or because he argued his point more eloquently than I.  This is after all about real events.  I lost because my husband was the first to remember something that we both had forgotten.  That when married people fight no matter who wins, they both lose.  On the car ride home from church theDav reminded me that we were both sinners saved by the grace of God and that our only hope at making it through this life together is found in the cross of Christ.  I was convicted and the fight was over.  It was pretty awesome to see.  It made me grateful that even after all the drama of our past the Lord had redeemed my husband and is working in him.  It also made theDav even cuter which, trust me, is very difficult to do.  More importantly though it reminded me that sin ruins ev er y thing (Kat Williams voice).  In a nutshell, Jesus didn't say "blessed are the peacemakers" for nothing, that junk is hard!    

Barely Sane

I live in something of a mad house.  Mostly because kids outnumber grown folk; also because only one of the grown folk is a woman which means that even they only make sense half the time ;)  I'm joking, kinda.  There are way too many things that happen in this house that make perfect sense to its other occupants but leave me clueless.  For instance it makes complete sense to all the males in my house to wash your face with hand soap then dry it on a hand towel.  Even if said hand towel is cream and you've been eating spaghetti.  Also it makes sense to everyone in my house that is under the age of 10 but over the age of one to put random items into your mouth.  Things like pennies and space ranger fingers are basically snacks 'round these parts.  To date, the most disturbing thing that I have to deal with here with this confusing clan of mine is the nakedness.  It is not uncommon, at any random point in the day, to walk into a room in my home and catch a glimpse of somebody's bare bum.  They may be getting their diaper changed, which is understandable.  They may have just taken a shower, I get that too.  But how do you realize (after being awake for 3-4 hours) that your underwear is not only backwards but inside out?  No answer?  Ok well try this one, how do you lose your diaper?  Or the best one yet, how do you just completely forget underwear?  See what I mean, this place is a mad house. I fear I'm getting weirder by the day.  Most moms check on their kids to make sure that they are sleeping soundly.  I'm checking to make sure that no one is naked!  Seriously, last week I came home from bible study and everyone was asleep in their rooms.  I turned the light on to check on DaeDae (who was "upset because it's later" whatever that means), glanced over at Ladybug and she was naked from the waste down!  Maybe I'll understand, one day.  

Save money, Live better.

    There are tons of things that I'm not usually willing to admit.  Like the fact that I am hyper sensitive.  Or that I'm still slightly scared of old people.  But there is one thing that theDav accuses me of that I'm finally ready to confront.  Ok, here it goes. . . 
    Sometimes Walmart, The Children's Place, Dollar Tree, stores can turn me into a shopaholic.  Especially around this time of year.  It's not uncommon to hear TheDav ask "how did we end up with (insert name of random item here)."  It's not as if I'm racking up debt or anything I'm a super duper bargain shopper.  Not only do I find great deals but I keep all of my receipts, all of em.  So stores beware if I buy something from you and I find it (or a comparable item) at another store for less within 90 days of purchase date, you can meet me at the customer service desk please and thank you!
    I enjoy shopping.  The whole process of it.  But as exciting as the swiping of debit cards is it can't compare to the pure joy that comes from giving a gift.  That thrill is unmatched.  Not to toot my own horn but I give great gifts.  I put time and thought into them.  Maybe that's why I love the "Christmas season" so much.  For a little while, everybody is kind of like me.  Everybody is thinking about somebody to give a gift to.  It's a special thing to get a gift that someone chose especially with you in mind.  It makes you feel loved and cared for.  It forever creates a bond between you and the giver.
    One gift that theDav and I plan to give our kids is the gift of truth.  (And since Jesus said he IS the truth)We plan to teach our children as much about Jesus as we know.  We do know that he was hung on a cross.  We've taught them that.  We do know that he is risen, taught them that too.  We also know that he was born to come to earth and die for our sins, as a GIFT.  Although we know that it probably wasn't in December, we've decided to teach them that Christmas is a day that everybody is reminded of the birth of the Christ.  We teach them to love and obey Christ every day on the calendar.  But this one day is special because even people who are lost are reminded that Jesus is in fact Immanuel!  We've no books on the subject, no new downloaded sermons on the topic.  We aren't even seeking out advice on it anymore.  In a nutshell, we've decided that we are just going to celebrate Christmas the same way we celebrate everything else in life, with Christ as our focus.