In the beginning. . .

God created man.  He then proclaimed that it was "not good for man to be alone."  So we must logically conclude that it is also not good for woman to be alone.  Right?  Makes sense to me.  Ya'll I'm not doing too good over here.  Alone is a real thing.  You know that commercial "depression hurts?"  Yeah well I remixed it for all the Army Wives out there: "deployment hurts."  And it does.  Oh man it hurts.  It hurts when you are laying in bed and your feet are cold so they instinctively move over to cuddle with your husband's strong legs only to find miles and miles of more cold sheets.  It hurts when your five year old says something hilarious and you can't share it with the one person on Earth who will get it, like really get it.  


I miss my Davy.  


I think of him non stop now that he's gone.  I feel like the US Army just pushed pause on the story of our life, right on a good part too!  When we were in the middle of our drama, I couldn't keep him away with a pit bull and a restraining order taped to an electric fence.  But now that we are back to boo-dom they fly him half way around the world.  Literally.  That's sucks!  You know what else sucks?  The regret.  I regret so much wasted time. So many bad moods, arguments, silly fights, bad fights, you're wrong, ghetto fights, on my nerves. . .  Whatever the reasons were, I regret them now.  I want my 16 seconds of silent treatment in the car back.  I want to use those seconds to tell my husband that he still has the "BEST voice" on the face of the planet.  I wanna tell him how much I love the birthmark on his cheek and how wiggly he is when he dances.  I can't wait until he comes home. . . 


God was right; as usual.  This is no good.  I'm not supposed to be without theDav.  I don't know what to do with myself.  Anyway, he's only been gone for a few days.  This deployment is very much in it's beginning stages.  In a nutshell, this is going to be a long cold, winter. 

Saving all my blogs for you. . .

Well, well, well.  Lookie who decided to show up in her own cyber world again after just under a bit too long.  Sorry love, it's not personal.  Actually, yes it is.  My personal life has prevented me for having any time for an online one.  Kids are growing up, the hubs is getting ready to leave, I cut my hair.  See why I didn't have time to sit down and write clever things?  I chopped off 14 inches of my hard grown hair a little while back.  I'm saying bye bye to my creamy crack addiction. I have baldy gone where I never have before.  At present I have about three inches of hair on top and one everywhere else.  Yikes!  This is new and scary territory for a girl like me.  Remember that chant "bald head hood rat, ain't got no hair in the back?" Well, in a nutshell, those are still fighting words, true or not.

Falling Down Tired

Ok, so, it's been a long time since you've heard anything from me.  It's been rough 'round these parts.  We had Christmas, then New Years followed closely by theDav's birthday. (He's really old, he doesn't like to talk about it.)  So I've been putting headless chickens to shame for the last few weeks.  This may be the first time that I've actually sat down this year!  Ok maybe that was a bit much, but I have been very busy.  Need more evidence?  Well there's the fact that I'm exhausted, even when I'm asleep, I'm still tired.  The fact that yesterday while watching The Lion King with DaeDae, I couldn't remember the words to "Can you feel the love tonight."  Oh and one more thing, my hair is falling out! 

If you are or have ever met a woman before then you know what a huge deal that is.  Every time I wash my hair there is a small furby sitting in the sink bowl taunting me.  There's hair on the walls, and hair in the brush, in the comb and hair in the rugs.  Basically there is hair everywhere except on my head.  I like hair a lot better on my head.  I have a use for it there.  No, it's not your normal everyday uses either.  If you must know I've been growing my hair out for a very special moment in the (hopefully) near future when theDav and I will be on an island vacation.  I plan to swim on that island and I happen to need long, luscious locks for my "bond girl up out of the water scene."  But at the rate I'm going I'll be putting just as much baby oil on my head as anything else.  Not exactly the look I was going for. 

I've tried all of my usual damaged hair revitalization techniques.  So far the only growth I'm seeing is in the amount of under cabinet clutter in our master bathroom.  I have bottles upon jars of miracle cures that have obviously never read the gospel accounts of Jesus because I'm still on the road to bald.  This is very scary for me, I mean, I'm an honest girl so I can say, honestly, that I don't have the head to pull off short hair.  Due to circumstances beyond my control, my head is slightly large, er, than some other people's may be.  I wouldn't say abnormally so but I would have to give myself the 57-60th percentile, if I was being honest, and I am.  But hey, you can't work around a problem if you pretend that it isn't there.  So since I was five years old the shortest I've ever gone is a tapered bob.  That was in the eighth grade and growing it out was awful!  But I have to do something drastic and the deadline to act passed weeks ago.  

I'm too much of a fraidy cat to just do the big chop without obsessing for at least 2-36 months.  TheDav suggested micros which I'm just as afraid of because of the in/out process AND I'm not sure if I want to commit to braids right now.  So I've been toying with the idea of a weave.  My heart pounds at the thought.  Ok you want the whole truth and nothing but it?  My plan when this whole hair loss fiasco started was to get weaves until I grew my perm out!  Yup, I was going natural.  Then it rained and I was no longer going natural but still going bald.  A friend suggested maybe I was over working my hair.  I thought, strong possibility, I know tons about being overworked.  So, in a nutshell, I'm trying to decide how to give my hair a "rest."  When I do, my body will be jealous.